The conversation was relaxed and it flowed freely from the beginning. We had our boys to talk about and the shared experience of all the hilarious and occasionally near death situations we’ve found ourselves in on account of being their mothers. And how often all we had in our corner of the ring was the last remaining threads of our patience and energy. We shared hope and excitement for their futures and also the new challenges we would have to navigate – after school sport, the influence of their peer group and the complex dance that is any kind of social interaction with the parents at school.
And then you told me. About the way you got diagnosed, the treatment, what it did to your littlest baby as he watched your physical change from being his vibrant energetic mum to a stranger without her hair or her energy. There was a shadow of the pain and fear of that harrowing time in your voice and eyes but be honest, what I saw and felt more prominently was the joy within for all that you have and the shine in your eyes as you gazed steadily into the rest of your life to be lived in remission.
You taught me so much in that brief time we had in conversation. Through you I’ve come to understand what it is to find acceptance and peace in a new way of life that has been thrust upon you. To receive with profound gratitude what a serious life event gave you in its aftermath while also not living in bitter resentment at what it took away.
I admire the person you are now though I don’t doubt that you were a fun, kind and good person before before your world changed forever and had to be rebuilt. Your sense of humour at absorbing the mindless comments people toss your way and your empathy in then being able to sit down with them as they’ve shared with you the emotions and context of their remarks. Your triumphs at unlocking an element of the complicated subculture that is the world of pre teen boys. Your generosity in sharing a hot tip for where to find excellent Hainanese Chicken Rice.
I don’t know if you will ever read my words or know just how profoundly you’ve touched my life but I just wanted to thank you for our time together.
May the joy of life continue to shine brilliantly upon and through you.
Thank you.
